***Disclaimer***
I saw this eviction notice on a friend's blog. It was sent to her by a coworker, but it accurately describes my feelings right now.
Dear Baby Carson,
Your current eviction date of February 21th, 2011 has been set for 9 months. In the past few months, I understand that you have become extremely comfortable in your dwelling. Unfortunately, I did not discuss some of the key points of your lease with you.
The late night dance parties were not discussed in your lease, and they've been keeping me awake through the night.
The blockage of a numerous amount of pipes and the leaking of others has to be put to an end!
Also, as far as adding square footage to the dwelling, we discussed a reasonable addition. You have surpassed that by much more than we discussed.
I have prepared another home for you to reside, so don't let house hunting be the reason you stay. Should your eviction date come and pass, please note that I will use forceful measures to remove you. I would like for this transition to be as painless and quick as possible. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be.
Love,
Mommy